Community: the Loneliness Cure?

Introduction

For Mental Health Awareness Week this year, the focus was on loneliness and raising awareness of the impact of loneliness on our mental health. Did you know one in four adults feels lonely some or all of the time?

In recent years, the pandemic has exacerbated feelings of loneliness with frequent lockdowns, being furloughed, unable to work, or having to work from home. As we emerge into a ‘new normal’ world, it has created a shift in the way we work and remote working opportunities.

I'm a huge advocate for remote working. I feel that there are many benefits to it, but I’m also aware that there can be social risks. Many people are experiencing burnout and loneliness from remote working. We can prevent this by achieving a sense of belonging. One way to achieve a sense of belonging is by being part of a community.

Community is key

What is a community and what are the benefits of joining one?

A community is a social group, a group of people that share common interests, values, or purpose. A community is all about feeling connected to others and being accepted for who you are. There are many benefits to joining a community. My focus will be on the mental health benefits that it brings and tackling feelings of loneliness.

Sense of Belonging

Finding and interacting with people who are passionate about the same topics, or have been through similar experiences as you, means that they can understand or empathise with you. This gives you a sense of belonging and connection that may be missing.

If you’ve ever felt that feeling like you don't fit in, it's a lonely and isolating experience. It can really impact your mental health as you ‌question yourself and your beliefs. Having the pressure to conform to other people’s conventions that are drastically different from your own can be exhausting.

Nothing beats that feeling of connection, of being embraced and supported for who you are, allowing yourself to show up as your true and authentic self - joining and engaging in a community will give you that.

Support

Research has found that having a strong support system has a positive effect on our well-being and ability to cope with stressful situations. It also reduces depression and anxiety. Whether you’re looking for a safe space to talk about your feelings, seeking advice, or need some motivation… You will find support in a community. There is always someone to turn to, you don't have to go it alone.

Security

Security comes from feelings of safety and stability and is fundamental to our wellbeing. How safe we feel can influence our social habits. When we feel safe, we feel calmer, more confident, and trusting. This encourages our motivations for social connection. A community can help you ‌realise ‌you can trust and depend on people. It’s like having a social safety net.

Esteem

Esteem encompasses both internal qualities (such as confidence and self-belief) and external qualities (such as respect and recognition from others).

Having high self-esteem boosts overall well-being. There is a direct correlation between this and to your satisfaction with life, and being able to overcome challenges and put the negatives into perspective.

When you have high self-esteem, you feel less lonely. This is because you realise you are equally deserving of attention and respect from others and have the confidence to form social relationships.

People with high self-esteem display qualities of pro-social behaviour, such as having a genuine willingness to help others and having empathy for other people.

It is of no coincidence then, that you will find these people in a community. These people will naturally uplift others, which will boost external factor esteem needs, such as validation and approval. The kindness received from others can also influence your internal esteem, as you learn to be kinder to yourself.

Finding a community

When finding a community, you want to consider your passions and values. For in-person, this could be communities formed by your local neighbourhood, place of worship, sports clubs, education centres or workplace. For online, this could come from social media such as facebook groups or communities on Twitter. You could join a Discord community by searching your hobbies or interests on Discord Street or even take part in events arranged on Meetup and meet new people.

Somewhere I belong

For myself, I stumbled across the tech community on Twitter when I was teaching myself how to code. I would follow topics such as web development or JavaScript and begin to follow and engage with people who talked about these things. The support that this community has given me has always overwhelmed me, and I will always be thankful for the kindness of strangers - some of which have now become my close friends.

EddieHub

I cannot mention kindness without mentioning Eddie & Sara Jaoude, and all the EddieHub community. I received such a warm welcome the moment I joined their community, with people introducing themselves to me, pointing me in the right direction for information, offering to help with ‌questions, and inviting me to events.

EddieHub was my strength when I was going through some tough times. The generosity, care and love I received (and still do) helped me to remain positive, to build back my confidence and to challenge me to step out of my comfort zone.

What I love about this community is that Eddie encourages everyone to ask questions in public so that we can all learn from eachother. Discussions are welcomed, ideas are embraced, and clarity is sought. It’s collaboration first, code second.

EddieHub prides itself on being an inclusive community, with ‘EddieBot’ ensuring that inclusive language is used by all members. ‘Bro culture’ is rife in tech and Eddie and Sara do an amazing job of challenging that by urging people to use gender-neutral language and supporting women in tech.

It’s a fun community with lots of engagement. People share their GitHub projects, daily standups, achievements and wellness tips and, of course, all things open source!

To learn more about the EddieHub community and open source, you can check out their website here: EddieHub you might even see a familiar face on there ;)